If You Can't Say Anything Nice
by duplicitywrites
Summary: In which Tom is terrible at socializing (and texting), but possesses a strong desire to have Harry say nice things about him. Harry regrets giving Tom his number, and then he doesn't. (COMPLETE.)
1. If You Can't Say Anything Nice

Harry had given Tom Riddle his number at one of those freshman mixers. Well, 'given' was a generous term. Tom had been a bit… aggressive... in his pursuit, which was fine, because Harry wasn't intimidated by him in the slightest. In fact, Harry found Tom amusing. Tom was clearly someone who was used to getting what he wanted, and Harry was having a fantastic time not giving it to him.

They'd been texting back and forth for a few weeks now, and it had gotten to the point where Harry'd stopped bothering with grammar and punctuation. He figured that Tom, with his perfectly punctuated sentences, would find it annoying.

The odd thing was, Tom continued to text Harry anyway, like it was a game, and even though Harry was pretty sure Tom had an ego larger than Dudley was wide, Tom wasn't put off by any of Harry's snarky comments.

If anything, it had incited an obsession, as Tom tried increasingly creative ways to get Harry to say something nice to him.

* * *

**Tom:** Compliment me.

**Harry:** ur ok

**Tom:** ... Only 'ok'?

**Harry:** cant spell any words longer than that

**Tom:** All of those words are longer than that.

**Harry:** i meant compliments specifically

* * *

**Tom:** Harry, I have had a very long day. So it would please me greatly if you were to say some nice things about me.

**Harry:** ur tolerable on a good day

**Tom:** That's not a nice thing.

**Harry:** its about u

**Harry:** so i got it half right, which is wat matters

**Harry:** if this was a class i would have passed it

* * *

**Harry:** ur pretty cool

**Tom:** Why, thank you. I knew you would see the light eventually, Harry.

**Harry:** sorry i meant 2 send that 2 ron

**Harry:** ur names look the same when im not wearing my glasses

**Harry:** my bad

* * *

Okay, maybe Harry was having a little _too _much fun with all of this. But he wasn't about to admit it to anyone, and he certainly wasn't going to tell _Tom _that he liked their childish banter. It would do unspeakable things to Tom's already inflated sense of ego.

However, on one early Saturday morning, Harry had gotten a new text from Tom that was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Harry had felt safe in sending a truly ridiculous response without too much thought to the consequences. But Harry's big mistake was how he'd assumed that Tom's ego, while ridiculously inflated, was still an ego that belonged to a _reasonable person_.

* * *

**Tom:** What will it take for you to say something nice about me?

**Harry:** buy me a new phone

* * *

Later that afternoon, there was a knock on Harry's bedroom door.

"Harry," said his mum. "There's a package for you at the door. They're saying you have to sign for it."

* * *

**Harry:** YOU LITERALLY SENT ME A NEW PHONE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM

**Tom:** It is not my fault you weren't clear about your request. Now, I do believe I am owed a compliment.

**Harry:** THIS IS A THOUSAND POUND PHONE YOU ARE CRAZY

**Tom:** I'm not sure how you were raised, but I can tell you that that is not a nice thing to say to someone who just bought you a new phone.

**Harry:** where do you live tom i am coming over to return this right now

* * *

Tom lived in a dorm room on campus. It had taken Harry five minutes to throw on a hoodie and grab his wallet with his bus pass, twenty minutes to bus to their school, and then another twenty minutes to find the stupid correct door number.

Knocking his fist loudly against the door, Harry waited to be let in.

The door unlocked after a moment. Tom was wearing a navy blue button down and grey trousers. He had his brows raised as he stared expectantly at Harry. Harry hadn't seen Tom since the day they had first met, which was now nearly a month ago. Harry had forgotten that Tom was kind of hot.

"Here," Harry said, shoving the unopened package at him. "This is yours. Return it or whatever."

Tom took the package slowly, reluctantly. "You can keep it, you know. I really don't care," he said.

"I'm not—I don't need—" Harry was having trouble articulating himself. "You can't just _buy _people, Tom."

Tom frowned. "I'm not trying to."

Harry studied Tom carefully. Tom was watching him right back, dark brown eyes strangely bright in the awful fluorescent light of the student hallway.

"Well," Tom said suddenly, stepping backwards and gesturing into his room, "since you're already here, why don't you make yourself at home? I took the liberty of making us some coffee while I was waiting for you to arrive."

Harry peered around cautiously as he stepped into Tom's dorm room. Everything here was neat and tidy, but there were two foldable chairs set up next to a desk. On the desk there were two cups of steaming coffee and… and a tiny bouquet of lilies sat in a small porcelain vase.

Was this a date? Harry glanced back over at Tom, who was wearing an innocent expression on his face. _Was _this a date?

"Is this a date?" Harry asked aloud.

Tom gave him a _look _that consisted purely of raised eyebrows and lots of undisguised judgement. "I don't know," said Tom. "If I was feeling more confident about what you thought of me, I _might _be inclined to say it was such a thing."

Harry thought about that. Then he said, "This was very clever, Tom."

Tom beamed, pulling out one of the collapsible chairs for Harry to sit. "Welcome to our first date, Harry."

"I really hope you made sure that you can return the phone," Harry said, but he sat down anyways.

"Of course I did." Tom sniffed, settling in the chair next to Harry. "Now, let's see if coffee makes you any more agreeable to delivering more compliments."

* * *

A/N:

**Lucius:** Why do I have an email for a thousand pound phone plus expedited shipping costs

**Tom:** I may or may not need to return something very expensive that I purchased on your Hogwarts Prime.

find me my writing updates on tumblr at duplicitywrites!


	2. Sweet Everythings

"Is this thing on? Is this thing? Is it on?" Harry poked at his phone, trying to see if it was taking the photo he wanted it to.

Ron grabbed the phone from Harry and looked at the screen. "I think you went live, Harry."

"Ah, damn it." Harry squinted at the camera. Though he could see the screen well enough, it looked… wobbly. "Why's'it moving like that?"

"I'm holding it still. You're the one wobbling. Here," Ron said, reaching out a hand to steady Harry. Then he handed Harry back his phone.

Harry and Ron were at a party somewhere. A party held by Ron's brothers Fred and George. Harry had only come along because Ron wanted him to, but then there had been free alcohol, and Harry wasn't one to say no to free (what uni student was?).

"Oh." Harry blinked, then looked over at Ron, suddenly overwhelmed with a surge of heartfelt emotion. "You're really awesome, you know that? The best friend in the whole world. You're the best. Ron, you're amazing."

Even though he'd only had two drinks and a bit of a third, Harry was feeling pretty nice. Nice enough to want to take a photo of himself and his best friend, Ron Weasley.

Ron snorted. "I totally am. And you're totally a lightweight."

"Hey," Harry said, offended. "It just means I pay less money to get drunk. I'm winning."

"Sure you are, Harry. You're still streaming live, by the way."

Oops. Harry fumbled with the screen, switching the recording off. Then he stared at it for a moment, trying to decide whether or not the posting of a livestream while drunk was going to surface as horrific shame the next morning. But then again, Ron was actually the best. He was just that great. Ron totally deserved to be displayed as really awesome in front of all two hundred something of Harry's Instagram followers.

Decision made, Harry put his phone away for the rest of the evening, where he forgot all about it until he woke up the next morning in Ron's dorm room. By then, it seemed better just to leave it since so many people had already seen it. It wasn't embarrassing, and Harry had his account set to private anyways. Plus Ron seemed to be weirdly thrilled about it all, and Harry was all for boosting Ron's inconsistent self-esteem.

What Harry should have been paying attention to was Tom's name on the list of people who had viewed the story.

* * *

**Tom:** Where was that party you were at last night?

**Harry:** it was at the weasley twins'

**Tom:** Interesting.

**Harry:** interesting?

**Tom:** The next time you get yourself invited to an event like that, let me know.

**Harry:** i can take care of myself! and ron is like, my designated sober person. you really don't need to worry about me

**Tom:** I'm not worried. I think I'd like to go with you.

**Harry:** you? uni party? say it ain't so

**Tom:** You're the one who keeps telling me they're fun.

**Harry:** free alcohol = fun

**Harry:** live and let live, tom

* * *

Because Harry was a good boyfriend, he dutifully texted Tom the location of the next party he had been invited to. Tom had the benefit of living on campus, meaning a lot of parties were within walking distance for him, but he'd apparently never gone to any, probably because he liked to pretend he was a stick in the mud.

Privately, Harry thought that Tom was just very averse to the sheer chaos that frat parties emanated. It was a situation with too many variables, something that was bound to make Tom, who was a bit of a control freak, a little uncomfortable. Hopefully going to this party would help warm him up to the whole thing.

"I thought you said your boyfriend doesn't do frat parties?" asked Hermione, after Harry had explained that Tom would be coming.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were headed to the party, which was being hosted by Cedric Diggory, who was a senior. Diggory lived in an apartment he shared with his girlfriend, Cho Chang. It was a short ten minute walk from the main part of campus.

Harry shrugged in response. He wasn't exactly sure why Tom wanted to come, either. But if Tom wanted to come, then Harry would welcome it. It would be nice to see Tom let loose for once.

* * *

**Tom:** I'm almost there.

**Harry:** yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaass

* * *

By the time Tom had arrived, Harry was two drinks in and feeling kind of awesome. He had mostly been dancing with Hermione, who was giggling while Harry swung her around and around.

"Hey Tom," Ron said.

Harry looked over to see Tom was dressed in his usual trousers and collared navy button up, looking a tad out of place surrounded by the crowd of t-shirt clad uni students. Still, Tom had a pleasant smile on his face as he approached Harry and his friends.

"Tom!" Harry said, dropping Hermione hands so he could go over and give Tom a hug.

"Harry," Tom said, sounding faintly amused. His hands came up to clasp Harry's shoulders. "You seem like you're having a good time."

"I am." Harry nodded. "I'm _so _glad you're here, Tom. Let me get you a drink." He pulled Tom over to the table, where an eagle-eyed Cho Chang was serving out the alcohol.

"Oh, I'm fine." Tom shook his head. "I'm only here for you, really. And to observe."

Harry paused, turning to regard Tom with what he hoped was a judgemental expression. "I thought you came here to have fun."

Tom held a hand up to his heart. "But I _am _having fun, Harry. I'm here with you, after all."

"Aww," said Harry. "That's so sweet. Alright. Well, I think I'm going to have another drink."

"You do that," Tom said. "And I'll be here while you do."

* * *

After drink number three, Harry started to get the feeling that Tom was after more than just the casual observation of a university frat party.

"Tom's kind of a stick in the mud," Hermione mused. "All he does is hover around you."

Harry hadn't really noticed that happening, but perhaps that was just because he really liked having Tom around. Unfortunately, Tom had left to use the loo about a minute ago. Harry missed him. He hoped Tom would come back soon.

"He doesn't do frat parties," Ron said sagely. "I could have told you that."

"Maybe he used to not do them," Harry said loyally. "But now he does!"

It was then that Harry saw Tom approaching them. Tom appeared to be rather disgruntled, which Harry did not like to see. Tom ought to be happy and smiling at Harry all the time.

"But look how _pretty _he is," Harry continued. "Isn't he just the cutest?"

Tom seemed to have caught the tail-end of Harry's sentence, because his expression shifted to one of amusement as he drew near.

"I just want. I want to squish your stupid handsome face," Harry said to him without preamble. "With both hands."

"Yeah, maybe time for some water, Harry," said Ron.

"No, no," Tom said, waving Ron away with an errant hand. "Let him continue." A slow smirk was spreading its way across the mouth on the stupid handsome face that Harry wanted to squish.

"You are so smart, Tom," Harry babbled. "And the best boyfriend in the whole world—"

* * *

When Harry woke the next morning, he was laid out on the floor of Hermione's dorm room.

"Oh my god," said Harry, sitting upright. And then he nearly toppled over, because his arms were still pinned to his sides by the blanket burrito he was currently tangled in.

"Too loud," said Hermione from where she was curled up on her bed, pulling a pillow on top of her bushy hair. "Too _loud_."

"He was _fishing for compliments_," Harry continued, still at the same volume, because in his sleep-deprived state it seemed essential that all his friends know this fact as soon as possible.

Hermione picked up a stuffed bear and chucked it at him. The bear bounced harmlessly off of Harry's shoulder and landed on Ron, who had somehow slept through Harry's entire moment of shocked realization.

"What?" Ron asked, the word slurred as he rolled over towards them.

Harry repeated what he'd just told Hermione, ignoring Hermione's groan of protest as he did so.

"Oh, huh." Ron mulled that over, then said, "That makes sense, honestly."

* * *

**Harry:** you are a prat. i see right through you, and you are a prat

**Tom:** That's not what you said last night ;)

* * *

"Winky face emoji?!" Harry said, incredulous. "Tom _never _sends emojis."

"Harry," said Hermione, voice strained. "If you don't shut up right this moment, I am going to kick you out of here, and I hope you know that it's four in the morning and the buses won't run regularly for another two hours."

"Urghhhh," Harry said, flopping back down onto the floor with a thump. "My boyfriend is an attention-seeking idiot and I can never have more than two drinks around him ever again."

"You asked for it," Hermione said. "Don't say I did not warn you."

Hermione's eyes were still scrunched shut as she sat up, but Harry could hear her knuckles cracking ominously, even from where he was on the floor. Perhaps he had made a mistake.

* * *

**Harry:** uh tom

**Tom:** Yes?

**Harry:** can i come over

**Harry:** hermione kind of kicked me out for being too loud

**Harry:** she's hungover

**Tom:** I might be persuaded to allow you over. For a price.

**Harry:** okay nevermind i'm breaking up with you, we're over, this is goodbye forever

**Tom:** Don't be so dramatic. You can come over.

**Harry:** :D

* * *

A/N:

**Tom:** Remember that time you called me the best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends? That I put all other boyfriends to shame with my magnificent presence? Feels like it was only yesterday.

**Harry:** because that was literally yesterday. also, i hate you.

find the sequel to this story on my profile!

find me and my writing updates on tumblr at duplicitywrites!


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